"All kids sleep eventually."
Have you seen that phrase pop up on your social media feed at some point? Well it's true, I suppose, but I wouldn't advocate it as a strategy. You might say that everyone who gets a cold gets better eventually, but that wouldn't stop me from getting out the vitamin C, salt water gargle, or a hot honey and lemon drink to try to speed up the process and make things more comfortable.
So it might surprise you to hear that when parents speak to me and say that sleep has suddenly gone off the rails, the first thing I do is tell them to wait a minute - more specifically to wait for 1-2 weeks.
The reason is, all kids have ups and downs with their sleep. Even my own kids, who should be pretty good at all this sleep stuff, sometimes have a week or two where things go a bit haywire. This is completely normally for children who are constantly learning, developing, building new connections in their brains and working out their place in the world. A few weeks ago my nearly-3-year-old went from sleeping 11 hours through the night, to calling for us 4 or 5 times a night.
So what did we do? We:
Provided more reassurance while still holding the boundary of staying in her own bed
Spent a bit of extra time building connection before bedtime
Checked that the temperate wasn't causing her wakes (she's now wearing socks to bed as it was a bit chilly)
Did a bit of role play with her dolls about what to do when they wake up in the night (snuggle into their duvet, give their teddy a cuddle, find a comfy spot on the pillow to sleep)
Kept everything else, including our responses during the night, really consistent
What we didn't do was:
Start cycling through lots of different sleep techniques
Change her bedtime
Change the time we get her up in the morning
Change where she sleeps
We provided extra reassurance, connection time and consistency every night, and within 10 days it had resolved itself and she was back to sleeping through. She was just going through a developmental leap and needed that support from us to come through the other side and settle into a happier pattern again.
However, this only applies for a week or two! If it's been more than two weeks and just being really consistent has not changed things, then that's your sign that it's time to stop waiting for change to happen by itself and take action to make things better. Your child's sleep is important. Your sleep is important. If you've been struggling for over two weeks then it's time to reassess your child's sleep needs and their settling needs and put a new strategy in place.
Take things slowly and change one thing at a time, allowing several days to see if it has an impact. Don't bounce between different approaches, or you'll only end up with a confused and unsettled child.
Want a bit of guidance to move forward successfully? Come and have a chat and see how I can help guide you towards a strategy that works for your child and your family. With a bit of help, you could all be getting a good night's sleep in just a few weeks' time.
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